A Can of Hominy

Understanding of this article will surely vary from person to person; but my reason for including it is because to me it shows several things that no matter our circumstances are important.  (1) It shows the power children hold when talking to a parent who is not always there; has problems of their own; and who loves them.  (2)  It shows that any addiction causes us to make mistakes and thru guilt feelings to over react; (3) as time passes, we learn there is both sadness and humor in some of the trying times in our lives.  (4) Everything we experience in our lives, good or bad is a learning experience and leads us to what we are today.

So, here is the story...One day (many years ago) while I was at work my ex-husband called my home knowing it was time for the kids to be home from school and to talk to them.  My daughter answered the phone and he asked her what she was doing and she said she was looking for something to eat and all we had was "A Can of Hominy".  Now let me assure you there were times when we did not have a great selection of food items however, I am positive we were never down to one can of hominy.  I am sure there were foods to eat in our cabinets but just not anything that appealed to her like chips and candy, etc.
Some background you need to know in order to understand what is coming is that this man was an alcoholic who still worked hard and probably felt guilt at not being there to see what his children had to eat.  The day passed and I came home from work my daughter said nothing about the phone call with her dad.  Not long after getting home the phone rang and it was my ex calling from the airport and asking if I would come pick him up.  I admit I was shocked but he did lots of shocking things back then so I said I would come but asked why he was there.  He sounded as if he had been drinking and said he would explain when we came and picked him up.  
I loaded the kids and myself into my Volkswagen Bug and off we went to the airport.  We picked him up and headed back towards home.  He said that he could  not stand the idea of his children having nothing to eat so he was there to go grocery shopping.  We had three stores near our home and despite the fact that I told him I was sure we had more than "A Can of Hominy" he was determined to stop at the first store.  In this store we made good choices and bought fruits, vegetables, meats, all healthy good foods.  When we returned to the car and loaded the foods it was a little crowded with people and foods (you do remember I am in a small Volkswagen) and he was continuing to drink.  We passed a second store and he insisted we stop to shop again.  There was no discouraging him so into the store we all went.  There again, we loaded several carts with foods.  I am not certain but I believe at this time he had spent about $700 and was continuing to drink.  Now we get back in the Volkswagen and groceries are everywhere kids packed in under the groceries that little car could barely move, and we passed a third grocery.  He began to insist that we stop and I said we had no more room and we had to take these things we had already purchased home.  I figured by this time that once we got to the house he would likely go to sleep and shopping would be over.  I was wrong.  We got home unloaded what we had purchased and he insisted on going back to the store we passed up.  There was no changing his mind so everyone got back into the car and we went back to the last store.  At this point, he really was unaware of what was going on around him and I said to the kids "Each of you take a cart and fill it with whatever you want; I don't care what you get just fill this cart as quickly as you can and lets get out of here."  Well you should have seen those kids eyes.  They were as big as you can imagine at the excitement of filling a cart with whatever they wanted and that is what they did.  They got all the junk stuff I always refused to buy and were thrilled.  Once my ex saw the filled carts he was satisfied although he did not know what was in them.  We went home, he passed out on the couch and the next morning he went back to the airport and to his home.  
My daughter did not want me to tell this story because she loves her dad and did not want people to see this side of him.  She asked me that if I was going to tell this that I would also tell that she believes he is no longer drinking (or at least not to excess) and she also believes he is attending a church.  I have to admit I do not know if what she believes is accurate or  not but I hope it is true.  I am not telling this story to hurt anyone.  My reason for telling is it was a part of our lives and from some of these experiences I learned you have to move on and away from some people.  I also learned that an addiction whether it be alcohol, drugs, or anything else, it can take you away from your family and cause you lots of guilt, pain and despair.  It can cause loss of family and your finances and bring pain to lots of people.  I do believe that once these things happen to you only God and Prayer can bring you thru it.
Let me add...I DID NOT HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES FOR MONTHS, and to a mother raising children alone it was indeed a blessing I can't help but believe that God brought that phone call from a guilty feeling dad to his child for just that purpose.  Don't you agree?
Perhaps it was a lesson to me from God about helping others and caring for our friends and neighbors.  Because I have experienced these things I believe is why I am so passionate about helping others and feeding the hungry.  I know that God had a plan for me all these years to care about others and to be a friend and comforter to anyone who needed help.  Pray for  me and my endeavor of trying to  help others.

Just a Little Talk

I feel so much for people in need, most likely, because I have walked miles in their shoes.  I have been divorced now for many years--not what I had expected in my life because I had married a man I believed to be a christian--but he didn't love me and found other women and Jack Daniels that he cared more for.  I tried for a long time to change him but finally realized you cannot change a person who does not want to be changed.  I made a lot of mistakes during that time of my life but praise God, Jesus never gave up on me.  The Holy Spirit nagged me continually until he got my attention and led me back to my church family where I had grown up.   In leading me thru life and to him I believe God put me in places where I could learn many of life's lessons and prepared me to be of help to others facing many of the problems I had experienced.  I believe that whatever situation we are in there is something we can learn from it and take it forward for good in our lives.  It was difficult raising two children on the very small amount of income and child support that I received.  (I received $125.00 per child).  It was a very small amount but I know there are women who do not get that much or even any at all.  I did always get the support but never knew if it would come the first of the month, the middle, or end of the month.  I could not count on when I would have it.  My children and I did struggle and sometimes I still struggle today.  We may not have always had what we wanted to eat but, we never went hungry.  Parents were there to help and then after my Dad passed away Mother did what she could to help us.  And as for receiving any government assistance, I was always, just above the amount you could earn or have and receive help.  This post should give you some insight into why I am so interested in helping those who are down.  I have learned that you absolutely cannot feel sorry for yourself while you are helping others.  Unfortunately I cannot do all that I sometimes want to do but I can give these people thru the help of my congregation, an amount of food, and a prayer for their well being and send them on hopefully with a lighter step.  If any of these people want to learn more about what God can do in their lives and how to be saved for a much better life in heaven I can turn them over to Godly people who will teach them what they need to know to be saved.


To end this post I just want to say that my next post will be called A CAN OF HOMINY.  It is both a sad and funny real life story.  I don't share it easily because it is something that happened to my children and myself and brings tears and to be perfectly honest a little laughter to  me whenever I recall it.  So please come back soon and read the next part of this testimony and pray every day for me that I am able to help someone else.   God Bless and Keep You until we meet again.