Understanding of this article will surely vary from person to person; but my reason for including it is because to me it shows several things that no matter our circumstances are important. (1) It shows the power children hold when talking to a parent who is not always there; has problems of their own; and who loves them. (2) It shows that any addiction causes us to make mistakes and thru guilt feelings to over react; (3) as time passes, we learn there is both sadness and humor in some of the trying times in our lives. (4) Everything we experience in our lives, good or bad is a learning experience and leads us to what we are today.
So, here is the story...One day (many years ago) while I was at work my ex-husband called my home knowing it was time for the kids to be home from school and to talk to them. My daughter answered the phone and he asked her what she was doing and she said she was looking for something to eat and all we had was "A Can of Hominy". Now let me assure you there were times when we did not have a great selection of food items however, I am positive we were never down to one can of hominy. I am sure there were foods to eat in our cabinets but just not anything that appealed to her like chips and candy, etc.
Some background you need to know in order to understand what is coming is that this man was an alcoholic who still worked hard and probably felt guilt at not being there to see what his children had to eat. The day passed and I came home from work my daughter said nothing about the phone call with her dad. Not long after getting home the phone rang and it was my ex calling from the airport and asking if I would come pick him up. I admit I was shocked but he did lots of shocking things back then so I said I would come but asked why he was there. He sounded as if he had been drinking and said he would explain when we came and picked him up.
I loaded the kids and myself into my Volkswagen Bug and off we went to the airport. We picked him up and headed back towards home. He said that he could not stand the idea of his children having nothing to eat so he was there to go grocery shopping. We had three stores near our home and despite the fact that I told him I was sure we had more than "A Can of Hominy" he was determined to stop at the first store. In this store we made good choices and bought fruits, vegetables, meats, all healthy good foods. When we returned to the car and loaded the foods it was a little crowded with people and foods (you do remember I am in a small Volkswagen) and he was continuing to drink. We passed a second store and he insisted we stop to shop again. There was no discouraging him so into the store we all went. There again, we loaded several carts with foods. I am not certain but I believe at this time he had spent about $700 and was continuing to drink. Now we get back in the Volkswagen and groceries are everywhere kids packed in under the groceries that little car could barely move, and we passed a third grocery. He began to insist that we stop and I said we had no more room and we had to take these things we had already purchased home. I figured by this time that once we got to the house he would likely go to sleep and shopping would be over. I was wrong. We got home unloaded what we had purchased and he insisted on going back to the store we passed up. There was no changing his mind so everyone got back into the car and we went back to the last store. At this point, he really was unaware of what was going on around him and I said to the kids "Each of you take a cart and fill it with whatever you want; I don't care what you get just fill this cart as quickly as you can and lets get out of here." Well you should have seen those kids eyes. They were as big as you can imagine at the excitement of filling a cart with whatever they wanted and that is what they did. They got all the junk stuff I always refused to buy and were thrilled. Once my ex saw the filled carts he was satisfied although he did not know what was in them. We went home, he passed out on the couch and the next morning he went back to the airport and to his home.
My daughter did not want me to tell this story because she loves her dad and did not want people to see this side of him. She asked me that if I was going to tell this that I would also tell that she believes he is no longer drinking (or at least not to excess) and she also believes he is attending a church. I have to admit I do not know if what she believes is accurate or not but I hope it is true. I am not telling this story to hurt anyone. My reason for telling is it was a part of our lives and from some of these experiences I learned you have to move on and away from some people. I also learned that an addiction whether it be alcohol, drugs, or anything else, it can take you away from your family and cause you lots of guilt, pain and despair. It can cause loss of family and your finances and bring pain to lots of people. I do believe that once these things happen to you only God and Prayer can bring you thru it.
Let me add...I DID NOT HAVE TO BUY GROCERIES FOR MONTHS, and to a mother raising children alone it was indeed a blessing I can't help but believe that God brought that phone call from a guilty feeling dad to his child for just that purpose. Don't you agree?
Perhaps it was a lesson to me from God about helping others and caring for our friends and neighbors. Because I have experienced these things I believe is why I am so passionate about helping others and feeding the hungry. I know that God had a plan for me all these years to care about others and to be a friend and comforter to anyone who needed help. Pray for me and my endeavor of trying to help others.
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